After I have been to my father’s house I become stressed out over money. He is obsessed with money. When I was a child he would never buy anything unless it was absolutely essential. I was the only kid in school with a black blazer, because it was a few pence cheaper than a navy blue one. When most kids had 2/6d s a week spending money I got 9d, and I was not allowed to spend it on sweets.
We only ever had three family holidays.
Even now he makes me fee guilty for spending my own money on myself or my wife.
He drives me up the wall.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could sit down and write a best seller?
Wouldn’t it be nice if I won the lottery?
Wouldn’t it be nice if I could get a job?

Been feeling really depressed and down today. I was telling the wife of my plans to buy a holiday caravan in Spain. She seems intent on blowing money as fast as possible. So far she has spent over 3k on a new suite (G Plan), which is pretty useless as the leather is so highly polished that as soon as you relax you just slide out of the chair like on a cartoon! I spent over £200 on her for a spa hotel treat for her birthday. 1.5k on Spanish holiday, £500 on a holiday in Cornwall later this year....Now she wants a hot tub for £3.5k +. With a running cost of £500 pa.
I can see my holiday caravan evaporating before my eyes.

I feel as though I am stuck in a rut, or even worse on a downward spiral into nothing.

Am I obsessed with money? or just mean? or cautious?