Wednesday, November 24, 2004


In the last few days I have been feeling really stressed. Things are getting on top of me and I am getting small issues out of proportion.
My stomach is knotted and I am wound up and wobbly inside, I feel incapable of making a rational decision. I feel I am stretched very thin in mutitudinous directions.
Everyone wants piece of me and there is nothing left for myself.
I must get myself to calm down. Some chill out time would be welcome....but damn near impossible.

Monday, November 15, 2004

On Sunday night we had a good chat with my dad. He was quite surprised at what had been happening.
I am now happy with the situation because I know that my dad is happy with the way things are.
I think my brother is try to do his 'big brother I am a manager, and I am taking charge' routine. Frankly if he gets too pushy then I will have to tell him to bog off.
Just because he is my elder brother and a manager doesent mean he is right !!

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Now on broadband..................wheeeeeeeeeeeee

Friday, November 12, 2004

A long time ago, at the beginning of September, when I was away for holiday for a week, and my two brothers were away for two weeks at the same time my 87 year old dad, who is on his own, had to go to hospital for a rather intrusive test.
Previously I had asked him to change the appointment as it was a private hospital and it would not be a great hassle to change the date. But he was keen to get it over and wanted to stick with the date.
One of my brother's sister in laws looked after him. He was not as tough as he thought and had a bad reaction. He was very stressed out, unable to sleep, having panic attacks, and other things. When he needed his family we were not there.
I was the first to return. I had only been away for a week. The other two were away for two weeks. I brought him back to our house a couple of times for his tea. Mrs L. called round to see him as well.
He likes his independence and we try not to smother him or take over. My dad has all his mental faculties - still as sharp as a needle !!
When my brother came back him and his wife had to take over. They are in a better position to do so. She has more free time.
After a few trips to the doctor he gradually improved.
By the way the test was negative and all was ok, just as I had expected.
After this, big brother suggested that we all have a meeting. To discuss when we think about any future care etc for dad. (We don't really socialize, that is another story).
I have my our own ideas. I would like dad to be in sheltered accommodation. There would be a warden available twentyfour hours and he would have people to socialize with.
A meeting was arranged and then he cancelled on the day (as I expected). He has a very full life as a high level manager for a global company.
Now that dad is feeling much better my eldest bother took my dad to the villa (the one in Majorca he and my other brother had bought between them) for a week. They hired a wheelchair and gave him the VIP treatment.
He came back last week after having a really good time.
I then received an email from big brother demanding a phone call from me in his usual subtle tone.
I did ring him and because I would not do what he thought I should do he then tried to pressure me by saying 'then don't expect any favors from me' I should have replied 'What favors have I ever asked you for?' or simply 'What favors?' So I ended up back pedalling ever so slightly.
A couple of days later I get another email, asking no pushing me for an answer.

He is seriously pissing me off.
We are having dad round for tea this Sunday and will have a little chat with him to see how he feels, maybe clear the air a bit.