Well it all kicked off the day before we were due to go on holiday and take the caravan up to Scotland for two weeks.
I received and urgent email from my niece to ring my brother.
My father had just started a Mediterranean cruise with two of his daughter in law’s, a few days before.
The message was that father had been taken ill and had been taken of the ship and transferred to a hospital in Rome.
My brother suggested that I continue with my holiday and he would keep me informed if things were to worsen.
My holiday went well, I did not hear from my bother as he had flown out to Rome to be with his wife and take charge of the situation. My father was flown back the following Tuesday.

When we came back we were summoned to a family meeting, as dad is still not able to do much for himself. A rota was arranged and my wife volunteered to do the mornings – i.e. get him up, do his breakfast and leave him with a sandwich for his dinner. For the first part of the week all went reasonably smoothly until Thursday when dad was due to come to us for an evening meal as well.
All the running around is costing us in petrol so the wife suggested that she pick him up in the afternoon when she was passing on her way to the dentists. When she got there he said he was not feeling up to it and wanted to stay home.

We suspect that because he has to come for his evening meal on Sunday, and we are having it at my wife’s sisters, dad does not ant to do this and will be ‘ill’ until Monday when he will probably be felling much better.

He is hung up about not sleeping. He has never slept well since my mum died eight years ago, but he had a bad time in the Rome hospital, and since then he has not slept well. Like all old people he tends to nap during the day. In fact yesterday he spent most of the day in and out of bed and then he complains that he is not sleeping at night !

We are hoping to reduce the morning visits next week and gradually phase out much of the running round.

About six months ago we suggested to my dad that he apply for a place in a sheltered housing unit. He would have help available 24 hours and regular supervision. He has three brothers and three daughters in law and we would still visit him regularly and he would be able to come and go as he pleased . he would still come to us all regularly for meals, he could still have his sky TV and his computer. He could still keep his house if he didn’t like the sheltered housing.
He looked at the options, with my brothers and refused.

In fact most things I suggest go down like a lead balloon.

I have always been the ‘also ran’ in the family. The one that lags behind and tows the line.